- 1: What eye color do you find sexiest?
- 2: White, milk, or dark chocolate mocha?
- 3: If you could get a Sharpie tattoo on your back, what would it be?
- 4: Did you grow up in a small or big town? Did you like it?
- 5: Your favorite adult as a child? (and not your parents, if they were your favorite)
- 6: What kind of smoothie sounds really good right now?
- 7: Most embarrassing moment from your elementary school years?
- 8: Most embarrassing moment from your middle school years?
- 9: Most embarrassing moment from your high school years?
- 10: Pirates or ninjas? Why?
- 11: Have you ever climbed a tree more than twenty feet off the ground?
- 12: Did you like swinging as a child? Do you still get excited when you see a swing set?
- 13: If you could have any pet in the world, illegal or not, what would you get?
- 14: What's your most favorite part of your body?
- 15: What's your most favorite part of your personality?
- 16: Madonna or Lady Gaga? Neither? Both? Who cares?
- 17: Have you ever watched the Superbowl all the way through?
- 18: Have you ever watched any major sporting event drunk?
- 19: What's the most delicious food you've ever eaten in your life?
- 20: Margarine or butter? Which did you grow up with?
- 21: Whole, skim, 1%, or 2% milk? (Did you know they make 1 1/2% milk?)
- 22: Which continents have you been on?
- 23: Do you get motion sickness? Any horror stories?
- 24: Backpacks or satchels?
- 25: Would you wear a rainbow jacket? A neon yellow sweater? Checkered pants?
- 26: What was your favorite cartoon growing up?
- 27: If you had to have a cow or a pig, which would you take? Why?
- 28: If you had to look at one city skyline for the rest of your life, which would it be?
- 29: Longest plane ride you've ever been on?
- 30: The latest you've ever slept?
- 31: Would you buy a sweater covered in kitten pictures? Would you wear it if someone gave it you for free?
- 32: Do you pick at scabs?
- 33: Favorite kind of bean? Kidney? Black? Pinto?
- 34: How far can you throw a baseball?
- 35: If you had to move to another country, where would you move?
- 36: Have you ever eaten Ethiopian food? Vietnamese? Korean? Nepalese? How was it?
- 37: Small, liberal arts school or public university? Why?
- 38: A relationship with love or one with sex?
- 39: Do you eat enough vegetables?
- 40: Do you like horror movies? How about thrillers?
- 41: Would you scratch a crotch itch in public?
- 42: Do you swear in front of your parents?
- 43: Coolest thing you've ever been for Halloween?
- 44: If you could change your natural hair color, would you? To what?
- 45: Do you want to get married? Have kids?
- 46: Do you use a reusable water bottle? If not, you should.
- 47: City or nature person?
- 48: Have you ever used something other than "makeup" as makeup? (Like paint? Markers?)
- 49: Can you walk well in high heels? Even if you're a guy?
- 50: Post 5 awesome things about yourself. BRAG AWAY!
I never know when I should butt in, butt out, speak up, shut up, stick around or walk away. Perhaps this is normal? Perhaps it’s just me?
Moments ago I looked back over my blog at an entry that I had forgotten I made, called “Sandy”. That was just over a month ago. It was written in a moment of adrenaline, the morning I headed for New Jersey.
I don’t recall writing that post. I was in a fog. I don’t even recall writing it, but by the details I can place the time and assume it was written from the comfort of my laptop.
And what a journey it was. I’ll share a few of the highlights feel free to ask me about any of them.
Work 18 hours, sleep 3, work 18, sleep 3, work 18, sleep 3, for 5 days.
Ran a shelter housing 280 people with roughly 100 cots and 100 blankets.
30’ sections of gutter and downspout were flying off of the building.
Sections of roof membrane were flying off of the building.
We were detoxing heroine addicts in the hallways.
The women made me sleep in their room to provide security.
We had every possible skin tone in the shelter. Families, homeless, visibly mentally ill…all in one big melting pot.
At 3:00AM the cook grabbed my arm and asked me to look out the back door at what he believed was a tornado.
I learned that you can detox a heroin addict by giving them enough sugar and keeping them walking 24 hours a days.
I learned that ambulances will not transport people in a hurricane when the winds are over 40 miles an hour. From that point on what ever medical issues you have in a shelter will stay in the shelter, they will not be transported to the hospital.
I have heard that you only need 20 seconds of insane courage. But, there are times in your life when you might need to have several sets of 20 seconds like that within a very short time frame.
I learned that surviving hell with another human being subjects you both to something called a “traumatic membrane”. The result is that one sees someone who was nearly a compete stranger before as a life-long best friend after.
I earned the respect of a homeless man. And, that means more to me that all of the respect that I have earned from all of the bank presidents I know. Combined.
I learned that living through a hell like that can cause a person to take a very, very long look in the mirror and redefine what it means to be a man.
I learned that my social anxiety (reference previous post) is nearly completely gone. In the weeks since I returned I have noticed that 95% of my social anxiety has simply evaporated. It’s too early to know if that is a temporary or permanent change, but I like it.
I learned that heroin addicts are real people, just like you and me. They have names and families and hopes and dreams, just like the rest of us.
I learned that heroin addicts understand how to self medicate really, really well.
I learned that a life-time of mission trips does not bend a person’s brain nearly as much as a deployment like this does.
Sometimes the shelter residents are more helpful than the other volunteers.
And, I saw a DMAT team (reference earlier posts). My dream for like 3 years has been to get onto a DMAT. I saw TN-1 DMAT at the Atlantic City Convention Center during the second week. It fascinates me that my dream has been to get onto a DMAT so that I could have some adrenaline fueled excitement in my life. There I was, 5 days of adrenaline high…and it was all over by the time the DMAT showed up.
I learned that people are not always what they seem.
I learned that a ricochet bullet does not hurt as much as a direct bullet hit.
I learned that prejudice against transgender people is real and it is ugly, even among people who have had sensitivity training on the topic.
I learned that the Catholic church gets it right some times. In this case sheltering 400 undocumented aliens who the city would not allow into the city shelter.
I profoundly grasp the scene in great war movies when the battle weary soldiers sit on their rucks, silently smoking a cigarette…as fresh new recruits come onto the now quiet battlefield.
I learned that a gun and a badge will allow you to be an ass to people and get away with it.
I learned that it is time for me to get serious about taking a martial arts class.
I learned that a young couple in love can fit both of their bodies onto a cot and sleep together.
And, I have some stories that ought never be written down. Ask me about diapers and baby food and the miracles that angels do.
I probably have learned some other things as I have stories that my own grandchildren won’t believe. But, this should give you some idea of what the trip to New Jersey was really like.
Oh, and finally, my earlier post referenced being 5 miles from the coast. That was true then and it’s true now, but during the storm the coast came to meet us. Happily it stopped when it was about 1 mile from the shelter.
“Follow your dreams” they say. ”You only life once” they say. ”Go for it” they say.
For 3 years I have been following my dreams of joining a DMAT (Disaster Medical Assistance Team). In just a few hours I will be making a serious leap forward towards that goal: I will be getting onto a plane and intentionally flying smack into the path of Hurricane Sandy. I could tell you what I am expecting, but as my first deployment on a national disaster services trip, I have no clue what to expect.
I know that I am messed up from 3 hours of sleep and an adrenaline high. I hope that this is the day I learn to sleep on airplanes.
Oh, and by the way, tonight I will be sleeping within 5 miles of the Atlantic ocean…where a hurricane is expected to make landfall in about 48 hours.
I don’t care what your dreams are, but please go follow them. =)
Social anxiety is kicking my butt right now. That is all.
A bit more detail: Once in a while I figure that people might look at me and say “Well, he seems to have his act together.” Truth is: not really. Not any more than the rest of you seem to. The thing is that I have learned to fake it.
Yup, I fake not having social anxiety. I find myself approaching social situations simply climbing up the walls on the inside, like some voice inside of me is going to scream out of my chest an I will be found out. That everyone in the room will know I am nothing but a fake and a poser. Somehow I find the courage to get into the room, stand along a wall, make an extra trip to the bathroom, find a face I know, visit the punch bowl, pretend to read the plaque, look like I am interested in that wall hanging, pick up the phone and TXT, or pretend to TXT, or whatever to try to blend into the wall paper.
I suppose that really, all around me are people dealing with the same things, each simply faking our way through the social event.
What is the opposite of “motivation”? Can motivation have a negative number? This morning for example I am less than motivated to go workout at the Y. I need to go. I have no excuse not to go. I need to be in better shape. I need the emotional\mental benefits that come from working out. But, I am totally and completely unmotivated to go. Like some value less than zero.
Oh well, I don’t need to be motivated to workout, I simply need to workout.